Recently, I got drunk accidentally. This sort of thing happens, especially when you skip dinner in order to pick up a keg of Sly Fox's delicious Helles lager for a party. What starts as a relatively refined housewarming party slowly devolves into a Lady Gaga-fueled dance mash with a slideshow of hazy half memories in between. Of those hazy memories, one emerges clearly: Dogfish Head's Theobroma.
Theobroma follows in the Midas Touch tradition of "Hey scientist, analyze the residue of ancient beer we found on this impossibly old clay pot so we can remake it and get hammered." This time the recipe came from some pottery fragments found in Honduras. Theobroma translates to 'food of the gods' and is a rightful name for this brew. The recipe uses Aztec cocoa powder and cocoa nibs, honey, chilies, and annatto, whatever the hell that is. The important thing to notice here is the heavy use of chocolate, and the spicy addition of ancho chilies. According to the folks at the brewery, this recipe is the earliest known chocolate/alcohol drink, so all you folks who celebrate the holidays by adding a shot to your hot chocolate and all you drunks who mix your Nestle Qwick with vodka can thank these industrious Aztecs. Even though I'm pretty sure ancient Honduras was Mayan territory...
Anyway, the beer itself is dark and enticing, and while I don't recall too much (and haven't been to a beer store fancy enough to pick up a second bottle, yet) I remember the flavor clearly. There is a chocolate/honey sweetness that fades into a subtle hot chili burn. It reminded me very much of the "hot chocolate" ice cream available at the outstanding beer bistro Theresa's Next Door in Wayne, PA, where chocolate ice cream is mixed with cayenne pepper. Have some, it's unbelievable. And try some of their several hundred beers. Theobroma's chocolate/hot flavors weren't as pronounced as the ice cream, but they were what demanded my attention from the mix of goodness going on in my glass. Hot and sweet work well together - just look at any of the great hot candies available at your local bodega. Seriously - expand your freaking horizons already.
According to my understanding of Aztec sacrifice practices, which come largely from things I heard a long time ago and other things I've made up, the person to be sacrificed was treated pretty much as a god for a week or so leading up to the big day. Part of this would be the sacrifice getting to drink until they could drink no more, then flipping them over and pouring booze into their butt holes so the good times didn't have to stop. The Aztecs knew how to party. Not only did they invent alcoholic chocolate drinks, they invented the frat culture. Maybe it was all the Lady Gaga that came to play late night, but you could pour a bottle of this stuff up my ass any time. I'd much rather drink it, but hey, who's to argue with the Aztecs? Right - the Spanish missionaries.
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