Wacko: Just Beet It

Rain. Music. Sun. Music. Rain. Hippies. Good beer. Such is life at the Gathering of the Vibes, a wonderful little music festival held fittingly in the former offseason home of P.T. Barnum's traveling circus. When I signed up for a music fest, I mentally prepared myself for a weekend of sucking down overpriced, annoying, mass-brewed domestics. I never needed this preparation. Instead, I was greeted by the Magic Hat/Sierra Nevada tent upon my mid-monsoon arrival late Thursday night.

My beer of choice for the weekend quickly became Magic Hat's Wacko, a brew I knew only from this fun, Vermont-based brewery's summer sampler case. Wacko is a light-bodied ale with a full-bodied malt taste and a sweetness that was in no way overbearing or obnoxious even in long drinking sessions. Magic Hat uses beet juice to create an eye-catching red color that looks nearly purple in the right light. In the heat of the day it was refreshing and enlivening, and at night it hit perfectly with the cooler air. This was a damn fine beer. And at $6/lb, it was actually a deal as far as concert prices go.

Day 2: I've been subsisting primarily on Wackos and veggie egg rolls since my arrival at the Vibes, and I believe this could become my new permanent diet. That, and some sort of home-made chocolates the group camped next to us were sharing. I feel great; my senses are honed. I believe the beet juice is infusing me with power. Colors are somewhat brighter. I can feel each individual hair follicle react when the wind blows, and I can smell changes coming in the weather. Thunderstorms tonight. Could beet juice be the secret to better living?

Day 3: I didn't notice it until now, but this beer actually glows a little bit. No wonder it is giving me power. In fact I was too powerful to sleep last night. Instead, I soaked up some of the late night music and did a little crowd watching. Also ate some more chocolates. Sort of a funny taste, like they had popcorn in them or something. Still delicious. My generous neighbors also gave me some sort of mint, but it wasn't very good. it was a little piece of paper, i thought it would be like those Listerine strips but it wasn't. Just tasted like paper. Thought it was a dud so I had a couple more - all duds. Oh well, it was still nice of the neighbors to share. One thing I don't get about this festival is why they have it so close to the ocean - I mean it's gorgeous, but the water must come up under the ground because the whole campsite sort of rolls like it's floating. The ground here must be very thin. I can't believe they let us put tent stakes in it. Suddenly I am nervous.

Day 4.Four. Four. Four-Four. HOOVES. You understand me? This place is full of maniacs, I'm not sure who's left that I can trust. The girl at the beer tent seemed confused when I ordered two Wackos and immediately dumped one over my head, but I had to. The yellow police seahorse was coming again, and my only hope was to pose as a street lamp until it went by. My plan worked perfectly, of course, and I was able to drink the other Wacko unhindered. After four days I'm still not sick of the stuff, and I've even stopped eating solid foods. The nutrients from the beets are making me stronger than ever. The only side effect is that it's made my clothes really itchy, especially around my nipples. Must be some sort of thermodynamic reaction from all the glowing. I'd better take them off before my skin catches fire. That would be a real shame at a nice festival like this. Ah here comes that blasted seahorse again - time to sign off.

Conclusion: Drink Wacko!!! Beet juice may have some sort of mild hallucinogenic properties. Results not typical.

A Roll in the Clover Patch with HoneyMoon

I enjoy Blue Moon. I wanted to get that out of the way up front because Blue Moon seems to be a bit of a sticking point with the beer drinkers I know. It's decent, not great, but its popularity has driven prices up to a higher bracket it deserves. Still, I'm hard pressed to find a better beer on most tap selections, and if I'm looking at $2.50 for a Miller Lite or $3.50 for a Blue Moon, well, it's worth it. That being said, I was excited to spot a seasonal offering from the Blue Moon brewery, their summer ale "HoneyMoon."

After 1: No clever naming here - the taste is very similar to the usual Blue Moon wheat ale, but with a pleasant honey sweetness provided by real clover honey. This blends nicely with the orange accents and really rounds out the flavor, which is balanced by delicious malts, both pale and white wheat according to the label, for plenty of character. Despite being sweet, it is a very refreshing beer. The 5.2% APV is modest, this is not a strong beer, but it is by no means a sissy. It also goes down easily, so don't plan on having just one. The twist-off cap adds to this beer's candidacty as an outdoor, warm-weather selection.

After 6: This is not my first extended HoneyMoon session, and each time I've gone through a sixpack or so I seem to get a disproportionate case of the sleepies. Not sure if this is just coincidence, as a lot of times I find myself drinking these outdoors in the sun, or if the honey has something to do with it. I mean, it is real clover honey - Madhava clover honey from Lyons, CO (thank you, bluemoonbrewingcompany.com). Click that for more than you ever wanted to know about honey. After six it's easy to keep on going, but be warned - have a pillow ready. Maybe two pillows if you're really into softness.

After many: UNEXPECTED DANGER OF HONEY-BASED BEER: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ

The Next Day: Wow, HoneyMoon, that sure was fun. You're taste like sweet candy, and those bees weren't so bad after you got to know them. Too bad I can't say the same for those bears that showed up at the end of the night. They were furry jerks. No matter, I'll definitely be buying you again. Although I wish the $33/case price tag would come down just a little. You'd be a great buy at $25, but in your current range there are a lot of other beers I might go to first. But if I see you on draft, well, you're just too sweet to stay away.

Man vs. Beer?!?!

Yes, that's right. Man vs. Beer. It's part beer snobbery, part overindulgence. And it's hopefully not just another beer blog. Sure, there are plenty of great (and even more terrible) beer blogs out there provide you with uneducated opinions of microbrews and fancy-shmancy Belgian farm ales, but I'm going to up the ante by detailing the effects of mass consumption of said microbrews and imports. It should be fun (for everyone but my liver) and hopefully we'll all learn a thing or two along the way. Thanks for joining me on this epic journey of self-discovery and self-destruction. So raise your glass, knock back a sixpack or two, and above all, have fun.

Cheers-
Matt